To put it simply, I’ve been really tired. I lost my job doing UX Research for Disney in April. Making sense of the job market right now is tough. I’m thankful to have the ability to do freelance work during this uncertain time and feel extremely grateful for the opportunities I have in front of me. I’ve been applying, receiving rejections and I’m really thankful to those who have reached out to provide me with kind words and support. You have no idea what it means to me right now.
I know that everything will be okay, and I certainly know that the demand for user centered research will only rise as we spend more hours of the day with our eye balls glued to the screen. In my opinion, it’s so important, now more than ever, to really understand how you are showing up for your digital devices (and the online experiences you engage with). You don’t have to engage with every post. Bless.
I don’t think we have yet caught up with all the ways technology has changed our lives. We relate to each other differently because of these devices we shove in front of our faces most hours of the day. I definitely don’t have the answers, but I’ve noticed a big change in my friend’s eye lines when they realize they don’t know something in a group conversation. No longer do people look to the sky or to each other in confusion, they look down to their pocket, hit their pant leg or re-position the phone that’s already in their hand or out on the table. Assuming things are definitive (good or bad, right or wrong, successful or unsuccessful, intelligent or closed minded) squashes so many opportunities for possibility and I don’t think my generation is flexing our wonder muscle as much as we really could be. It’s really actually very fun to wonder, to sit in the seat of curiosity. With the internet being at our disposal literally all times of the day, we’re subconsciously conditioned to believe we need to double check our own knowing to make sure we are in alignment with what the rest of society (really, a small sliver of the internet) knows to be true (presumably).
When I started my job at Disney, on Zoom, I started to begin to get really self-conscious about the vocabulary I was using during meetings. I’m working on it, and I can’t tell you how many times I’ve used a word in a well articulated sentence just to look up the definition afterward in panic to make sure I used it correctly and didn’t embarrass myself. Most of the time, I sigh in relief. But this experience (or wave, as I like to call it) of anxiety I get after the fact, only hurts (and exhausts) me. This experience of constantly invalidating myself was/is exhausting and I don’t recommend it.
I’ve started to teach yoga, every week over Zoom on Tuesdays. I’m learning a lot about the way people show up, especially for a digital video call. The truth of the matter is, it’s really hard to show up, especially for ourselves. In person or in a virtual meeting ‘room’ (link).
I’m not sorry it's been over a month since I’ve updated this letter. I’ve finally been getting the rest I need and deserve. I’ve been taking care of myself at a pace that feels good to me and my development. I finally feel like I have space to express myself and move through the world in the way that feels truest and most authentic to my Self. What an immense privilege this is, to be able to take care of myself with so much grace and support, I do not take a single second of this time for granted. Yet I also realize and hold dear all the effort and work it has taken me to get to this scary yet necessary rest stop.
I know my choices support my future in a way that feels good in my bones. It's hard to live independently, it requires a lot of patience, knowing not all work is visible and a strong trust in the power, liberation and freedom of believing in yourself and your own creations. Even if you can’t name them or know what they are in the moment, know your attention and focus to the things you find enjoyment in will go a long way.
Lately when I go to a public yoga class I come home with a euphoric feeling of excitement for how I envision the future of the practice, and my future inside the practice. Connecting virtually is hard but I’m really appreciative to those reading who have wiggled with me in support so far, it has been so much fun. I’m excited to keep teaching every Tuesday, and I hope to see you sometime soon! I’m super thankful to my yoga mentor Kyle Miller, for all her help and guidance over the past couple months. If you live in Los Angeles and haven’t been to one of her yoga classes, what are you doing?! I’m really not sure…
I haven’t been home to Michigan yet in 2024 and I’ve been feeling homesick. I will be teaching two outdoor yoga classes while I’m home in the Metro-Detroit area and I’d be excited to see you! I am hosting a private outdoor class at my parents house in Bloomfield on Tuesday June 25 at 6p (space is limited) and a public class at Geary Park on June 29 at 1p. Every body is welcome, always. ☺️
I’m so excited to share this practice with my friends and family back home. It’s been such a growing and learning experience for me, teaching, working and even finishing college on Zoom. I can confidently say I have deep and new found appreciation for what it means to hold space for my people. For me it is a magical feeling, whether or not I’m the one actually holding the space, to be in the presence of community. I’ll forever be thankful to my very first yoga teachers at Citizen Yoga and AUM Yoga for giving me space to breathe, learn about my body and its tendencies, and the very necessary encouragement to keep going. I’m so glad I did.
Songs for enjoyment
Questions to take with you
What is your favorite feeling? When do you get it?
Which element do you most closely relate to? Why? (elements: water, fire, air, earth)
Do you believe in zodiac signs? Why? Why not?
Take really good care,
Michelle